If you asked me: "Are you happy?" I would reply without hesitation - YES! I would tell you about my loving husband, my two hilarious kiddos, our middle-class home in a middle-class neighborhood with lovely neighbors, my "better than I deserve" job.... but would that all be true? How does one decide if they're truly happy? Is there a secret questionnaire that we can fill out? Is there a checklist?
If I created a happiness checklist, it might look like this:
- Do you have someone in your life who loves you unconditionally?
- Do you have someone in your life with whom you can share your secrets without judgment?
- Can you think of at least two people you could call in the middle of the night and they'd show up, no matter what?
- Do you feel like you've accomplished something more days than not?
- Can you look in the mirror and smile at what / who you see?
I would pass - so I guess I'm happy...except, I see people who are traveling the world and doing humanitarian work and wearing clothes made of linen and laughing in all of the photos... those things feel like they'd make me happy. How do we know when we've reached happiness, or do we ever really?
I guess where I land on the topic is...Happiness will look different when we're 10, 20, 30, 40.... It changes. Happiness is not perfection, it's working towards it. Happiness doesn't mean we never feel crappy about our situation, but we feel glad about it more often. "Happy" is subjective, but I think I am.
